I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you win again, gameday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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