someone threw a dead crab at me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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