Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
