It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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