but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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