Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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