people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
