Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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