Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
