one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
