If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
