when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
