That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
