watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
