i just google imaged poop.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
