'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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