you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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