My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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