He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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