when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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