dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
