my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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