I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
