For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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