Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
