just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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