belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
