We should be called the Road Head Warriors
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
