everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
