shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
