I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
