Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
