with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
