Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
