i just wanna soil my oats bro
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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