if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Drunk is not a location!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
