you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
