that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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