Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
