One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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