the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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