So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
