I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
its not stalking. its research.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
