Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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(989): View more from Michigan

is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

(616): View more from Michigan

The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

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(914): View more from New York

Drunk. I slept-stripped.

(914): View more from New York

By myself.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

(604): View more from British Columbia

And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

Are you really alive right now?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.

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