New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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