its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
