Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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