Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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