I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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