"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
