I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
